Dear Levi (English)
by SantCat
Summary: This is a story that was written by a boy who suffered from idiopathic aplastic anemia in his diary. A story about a person his curious mind observed through the window of his room. Translation by Catanna on AO3 with some changes.
1. Chapter 1

**Dear Levi**

 **Summary:** This is a story that was written by a boy who suffered from idiopathic aplastic anemia in his diary. A story about a person his curious mind observed through the window of his room.

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 **The book in your hand is the property of Eren Yeager.** **It contains a chain of stories he wrote using a black ink pen, a gift from his father, under the light of a desk lamp, when the whole world has already asleep, blanketed with the starry night sky.** **The story of a sickly boy who dreams to be free finally finds his love through the window of his room.**

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Dear you,

That afternoon was just the same as usual. The sky was cloudless, its blue color appeared flawless as ever. As usual, I played the piano while listening to the music through my favorite white headphone. This time, I tried to make my cover version of an opening song of my favorite anime. Did you watch anime? Most likely not.

I was about to finish the chorus when I heard a rustling sound from the vacant house across from my house. I never left the house; thus, I never got much information about the outside world. So, I was a little surprised to see the house which had been vacant for five years was eventually sold.

I poked my head out of the window. I saw you lifted three large boxes with ease and walked lazily toward the gate at the left side of the house, across from my window. I thought you were a very strong person. I was sure if it were me I'd have broken some of my bones. When I shifted my eyes toward your face, our eyes met. I felt like your cold blue-gray eyes were sending sharp daggers to my eyes because of your _too_ intense gaze. Had you been watching me all this time? I wanted to look away, but somehow my eyes didn't want to obey me. I got goosebumps, my breath hitched, and my heart's rate quickened. What was wrong with me? Did my anemia decide to act up now of all time? I felt lightheaded. As I held my head in my hands, I heard you dropped the boxes and your eyes narrowed slightly. I didn't know why you looked so worried, even though you just met me? We didn't even know each other.

Ah. I know. You felt sorry for me, right? I didn't need your pity. That emotion was just going to make me looked weak. I hated being weak and I didn't want to be looked down upon. Although my disease had ruined my body, I still would struggle to not look weak. When my headache finally subsided, I glared with all of my might at you and closed the window with too much force it nearly fell off from the hinge.

But, you know? Somehow, after I closed the window, regret crept up into my heart. Although I didn't want to admit it, I still wanted to look at you. I had no idea why. When I put my hand over my heart, I felt the quick pace of my heartbeat, the fastest I had had in my life.

Tell me, what had you done to me?

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 **(= RnR =)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Levi**

 **Written by: SantCat**

 **Translated by: Catanna**

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Dear Levi,

Finally, I knew your name. I wasn't a stalker. I asked my mother, so please don't misunderstand. I knew you and your family came to my house yesterday. My mom said you were asking about me. I couldn't see you because I was taking a nap. I wondered what my mom told you about me. Please don't fully trust her words.

I heard you were two years older than me. You were a senior, right? Ah, I should have attended high school by now, too. But, because of my condition, I was not allowed to attend school. I hated this. Why couldn't I attend school just because of that stupid anemia? It's not like just because I felt dizzy more often than other people made me couldn't follow the class. My brain could still function normally, thank you very much.

In the morning, I woke up as usual. When I opened the window, the first thing I saw was the bedroom window on the second floor of your house. Somehow my eyes couldn't move from the sight of that window. After a few seconds staring at the window, the window suddenly opened showing your sleepy face. Your hair which was really neat yesterday looked messy and there were some that sticking out at a weird angle. I giggled when I saw you yawned widely. It was really cute. Accidentally, our eyes met. You looked at me with that intense gaze again. My cheeks felt hot. I immediately lowered my head and directed my wheelchair toward the bathroom.

When I went back to read a book near the window–because I had nothing better to do than that–I saw you left the house with your school uniform. I knew that uniform really well because my two best friends also went to that school. For today, your uniform consisted of a white crisp shirt, a light brown blazer with your school crest–weird overlapping wings–and dark brown trousers. The green tie you wore indicated that you were a senior. Your black hair looked neat as usual, glistening under the sun. You... looked cool. Once again my cheeks felt hot and my head felt light when I realized what I was thinking. Why would I find someone I barely knew looked cool?! Not to mention in a fricking high school uniform?!

When I raised my head to sneak a glance at you again, you were already looking at me from down there. This time a burning sensation spread to both of my ears. Not knowing what to do, I chose to cross my hands across my chest indignantly and glared at you (somewhere after dinner I realized my pose at that time looked somewhat like a tsundere girl). The left corner of your lips slightly went up. Wait! Was that a smirk? You little...

Since then, somehow, I preferred to sit near the window which faced your house rather than the one with the view of my favorite beautiful garden. Why I did that I wonder?

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 **(= RnR =)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ghostly Breath**

 **Written by: SantCat**

 **Translated by: Catanna**

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Dear Levi,

Today, I was really happy. Why? My two best friends had come to visit me! They were really busy with their school activities lately, so their visits became increasingly rare each passing day. I was not really upset or disappointed in them or anything, after all, I was not so selfish to demand them to come every fricking day. Yes, I often felt lonely, but to me, with them trying to visit me every week and showered me with their affection in each visit was more than enough for me.

My fingers were skipping happily over the keys of the piano, playing the song 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' which we often played as a child. As usual, they asked me to play this song together like the last time. Armin pressed the keys with two fingers clumsily which produced an irregular tempo, while Mikasa pressed the keys too hard, so the tone she produced was too loud. But, I didn't really care as long as they were here with me. Hell, they'd have broken my favorite piano and I'd still very happy and laughed freely with them. Dad could have bought a new one anyway.

When the song had reached the end, we clapped as hard as possible while laughing so hard because our performance was really shitty. But, we wouldn't have that any other way. And then when I looked out the window, I saw that you were already home bringing a lot of friends over to your house. Jealous? A little. But I already felt quite content with my small circle of friends. Besides, I had many other friends other than Armin and Mikasa. Even though I always stay home nowadays, I had been in public school once. My close friends in that school still visited me frequently, but they often visited at the most unexpected times. At midnight for example.

I poked my head out the window a little bit further out of curiosity. Looked like there was a party. Welcoming party perhaps? I never understood the mindset of young people today. Well, maybe that was because I didn't know life outside the home for a long time. But still, should they have a party at every moment? Would they die if there wasn't any party for even a day? Wait, why was I angry? Maybe I was more than a little jealous.

When I pulled back my head from outside, I heard a snort of disgust on my side. When I turned around, I saw Mikasa's head had followed my example and looked out the window at the party which being held in the house across from mine. I remembered that the people in there were also from their school and asked if that party was their school event or something. Armin said that it was a special party for their student body members only. But there was some exception like the students who had an influence on the school, a close friend of one of student body member, the rich kids, or the so called 'cool kids' I had ever seen in teenage dramas (ugh, how I hated them). I frowned. Why did it sound very discriminatory? Were teenagers really fricking biased or something?

Wait. Why weren't Armin and Mikasa coming? As my memory remembered, they were also members of the student body, right? Mikasa who apparently saw the utter confusion on my face said that how could they went to the party and canceled their appointment with me. "The party was shitty anyway," Armin interrupted. Armin was rarely using cursing words, so the party must be really shitty I concluded. Mikasa added, although she was also a member of the student body and was entitled to participate the party, she wouldn't want to set her foot in a party held to celebrate the 'chibi' and his new home. I raised an eyebrow confused. 'Chibi'? Who was that? This time Armin was the one who answered that the 'chibi' person was you. Armin said, your moving into a new house was just an excuse made by the student body members to hold a party in their vice president's new house. Hmm... I never thought you were a student body members and the vice president at that. How unbelievable.

I asked him why Mikasa seemed to really hate you with all of her might, even though you were not that bad. Well, this was just the opinion of a sickly boy who watched his neighbor through the window, anyway. Mikasa pursed her lips and replied instead, "You wouldn't understand, Eren. I just don't like his very being exists in this world." How could I understand if she was not willing to explain her reason? When I asked what her relationship with you, she answered that both your fathers were cousins. Oh, that was an unexpected answer.

The loud booming music from the party shook the ground. My ears which already accustomed to quiet and calm atmosphere felt like they were drummed from the inside. Armin advised to close the window and I agreed immediately without hesitation. Before I closed the window, I tried to steal a glance at the residence of the Ackermans-Ah, that's right, both of you had the same last name-and I found someone stood behind the huge white gate on the left side of the Ackerman's ivory residence. When my eyes met with a pair of piercing blue-gray orbs, a strange burning sensation crept onto my cheeks. My heart raced and I struggled with every breath. Why were you out there? Wasn't that a party for you? Or did you find the party shitty too like Armin did?

You opened the gate and then walked out and stood on the street that separated our houses. You looked back at me and put a hand on one side of your mouth. I saw your lips moving to form the words, "You wanna come?" directing your thumb over your shoulder, pointing to the ongoing party behind you. I smiled a little and shook my head. I pointed at my ears, indicating that I couldn't stand the blaring music from the party. Just hearing it from here was already this painful. What would happen if I heard it directly from the source? I knew it wouldn't end well. Besides, I couldn't stand for thirty minutes without passing out, so how could I survive in a suffocating crowd of teenagers there?

You nodded. I saw you were going to say something else when suddenly there were two hands which pulled me away from the window. I turned to my side and just remembered that Mikasa was still standing beside me all this time.

She hugged me protectively and glared ferociously at you, but you didn't waver and glared back without hesitation. After a few minutes, Mikasa finally decided the best solution was to close the window and she did exactly that. Before the window was fully closed, I quickly shouted, "Good night," and waved shyly at you. I caught a glimpse of a smile on your face, but it's impossible. Maybe it was just my imagination.

Shortly after the window is fully closed, Mikasa gripped my shoulder tightly. I hissed in pain. It looked like there would be a terrible bruise forming on my shoulder. Mikasa realized her mistake and apologized then hurriedly ordered me to be as far away as possible from you. I protested, why should I be away from you? it wasn't like I wanted to be really close to you, but to be as far away as possible from you seemed impossible with the fact that our houses were next to each other. The raven haired girl gripped her red scarf, the gift from me when I was still in the public school. She said that she just wanted to protect me from you who was known as the king of all playboys who had destroyed the hearts of many people. You were a demon who just wanted to toy with other people's feelings and then threw it away like it worth nothing at all.

I stood there gawking and stared at Mikasa with uncertainty. Was it true? Was it true you were a person like that, Levi? But, I shouldn't have care, right? Then, why was my chest felt really hurt?

That day, the day that should had left me with a happy and warm feeling I usually felt every time my best friends visited instead had left me with many questions in my mind. What's wrong with me?

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 **(= RnR =)**


End file.
